Telling our story: HonC! turns 4!

It was the end of 2017 and I had just finished running a Circle of Security Parenting Group in Trumpington. A group of parents attending the group asked if I could help them set up a stay-and-play group in the community. They wanted a place where they could continue supporting one another in their parenting, and a space to reach out and support other local families. And so HonC! was born!

We held our first group in June 2018 in the Tillie Cuthbert room at Clay Farm Community Centre. Since then, we have grown both in numbers and in space. Four years on we welcome around 60 families a week, both at Clay Farm, and since September 2021 at Trumpington Village Hall too.

HonC! stands for ‘Hands on the Circle’ and is a phrase adapted from the Circle of Security Parenting groups we run. We as a parent/carer are the hands for our children, helping them go out to explore the world, and being there for them when they need to come back in to have their cup filled.

Our hope from the start was that HonC! could also be the hands for families. A ‘safe haven’ where they can return to, to find comfort and make sense of their experiences`, and a ‘secure base’ where they can go out from and try out new things.

When we become a parent we don’t know how our child will turn out, and similarly we don’t know how they will change us. Likewise for me, and perhaps for others, I didn’t know how HonC! would grow and change. We have loved welcoming in so many families, each one bringing their own story, and supporting a growing number of volunteers. In January 2020 we were delighted that HonC! became a part of the charity Connected Lives – a bigger family of support for us: ‘hands holding hands.’

Perhaps one of the biggest surprises for me is the way that I have been changed over the past five years. I must admit, when the group of parents originally approached me asking for my help in setting up something, several thoughts went through my head, including: “Am I good enough?”; “I have never done anything like this before, what if I get it wrong” ; “What will others think?” In fact, concerns not dissimilar to thoughts I had before I became a parent!

In Circle of Security Parenting we are told that when we become a parent there is no instruction manual, but that our children are the instruction manual. We learn with our children as we grow with them. Similarly, at HonC! I have learnt from families, volunteers and the situation during the pandemic, always seeking in the words of Circle of Security Parenting, to wherever possible follow HonC!’s needs and whenever necessary to take charge.

Like a four-year-old child, HonC! has a become larger, with it’s own character and set of needs. To continue to make sure HonC! thrives and continues to support local families in our community, we are asking for your help. You can become a regular giver or give a one-off donation. Every donation is appreciated to ensure HonC! can continue for the next four years.

Thank you.